


we all have our demons

by icemakestars



Series: •Tumblr Prompts• [7]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Depression, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 11:41:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16491893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icemakestars/pseuds/icemakestars
Summary: Mirajane is plagued with the demons from her past, and the sudden realisation that it would get better.





	we all have our demons

**2.) “Shhhh it’s okay... they can’t hurt you anymore.”**

**TW! FOR SUICIDE REFERENCE/BULLYING/DEPRESSION ETC**

People always say that kids can be cruel, but they never acknowledge that so can adults.

“You’re an abomination!”

“You’re disgusting!”

“You should do your family a favour and die!”

Mira shook, her hands over her ears as their words hit like stones against her, not ricocheting off but sinking in, tainting her.

She shouldn’t exist - didn’t deserve to - and with every breath she took she stained her family more.

They deserved so much better than her.

There was heat around her, not hot enough to burn but still stifling. Mirajane tried to pull away from it, from the people who would hurt her, but the warmth got more intense, verging on painful. She was wavering on unconscious when there was a throbbing in her side. Her senses were dulled as her body was caught up in the whirlwind of her emotions, but the voice penetrated before anything else could.

“Shh... it’s okay. They can’t hurt you anymore, sweetheart. You’re alright.” 

Mirajane’s eyes opened slowly, and she blinked a gunk ridden film away before she could process her surroundings. She was not shaking, but rather being rocked; Erza was sprawled over her back, face pressed into her neck and fingers plunged deep into Mirajane’s sides. She winced at that, tilting her body forward and away from Erza. The red head let her go, eyes brown pools of liquid concern as she watched Mirajane go.

“Sorry Mira, I didn’t know how else to reach you. It was like a trance, I knew I had to shock you somehow.” 

There was still a numbness to Mirajane, and so she nodded. It was a panic attack that had consumed her, as they often did, but it had all felt so real, as though she was still in that place from her childhood. 

Tears had damned her complexion and she felt them threaten her again, but Mirajane blinked them away, forcing her body into submission. 

“I’m sorry, Erza.” Her voice broke with hoarseness, and Mirajane shuddered when she realised how long she had been in this state for. If Erza hadn’t found her when she did... it could have been a lot worse. Not that this was okay, either. 

Erza smiled, and although it did not meet her eyes it was genuine.

“You have nothing to apologise for, lovely. We all have our demons.”

At that, Mirajane snorted. She had more than most, real and literal demons which had almost caused her to abandon her family on multiple occasions. 

Elfman was strong; he had learnt how to fend for himself. Lisanna was dead. Was there anyone else who needed Mirajane?

Nobody was the clear answer. The guild would move on. Outside of them, there was only her work at Sorcerer Weekly, and she had hardly bonded with any one of those models or photographers. 

She was useless, and pathetic, and didn’t deserve the space that she claimed. She fought back the tears again, clearing her throat and pushing out the ghostly words of her younger years from her head. Mirajane scanned Erza’s expression, and she wondered how someone so sad could still look so beautiful.

It was not obvious and then it was, and if Mirajane was on her feet then she would have fallen back down again; Erza.

The red head was not as stoic as she pretended, and her vulnerability was what had drawn Mirajane to her, was why they were such good friends.

Or were they?

Friends didn’t have keys to each others apartments, or share clothes just because they like how the other smells. Friends don’t sit daydreaming about how to make each other happy, or plan their day around getting a glimpse of the other’s smile. Friends don’t think about how much they want to kiss the other multiple times in the day. 

Making decisions under intense emotional situations was always a bad idea, Mirajane knew that, but this seemed so blindingly apparent that it was blurted before she had had time to question it.

“I’m in love with you, Erza.” 

As soon as it was said, Mirajane felt it in the roll of her muscles and the skin between her toes and the air inflating her lungs. She was filled with Erza and someone could not get enough; she was Mirajane’s balm, a soother on the past and a beacon of light for the future. It was almost scary, how much Erza meant to her, but Mirajane pushed that to the side; she had most definitely faced worse.

“I- what? I don’t understand, Mira.” Erza’s eyes were wide, her expression teetered on the edge of hopeful, but still guarded. Mirajane pushed herself to stand, crossing the short space between them and resting their foreheads together.

“I love you... I love you so much I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to realise. You’re right, Erza, nobody can hurt me now; when I’m with you I feel invincible. I want to be with you, love, if you’ll have me?” Her words were barely a breath between them, but when Erza nodded vigorously the white haired woman wanted to yell. 

She may be a demon, but Erza was the only slice of heaven that she wanted, and there would never be another day where she forgot that.


End file.
